Out to wound the fox -working title (My first proper script)

[chrisgreen]

I have been interested in writing scrips for ages, and a while ago i finally decided to sit down and write somthing, and only now, have i found it again, and i thought it'd b cool, if u guys could give some feed back on it. As i said, its me first atept and first draft, so be kind. Also the character names (e.g. gary boy etc) are only used for reference, and i couldn't tihnk what else to call them and the main problem is the character called "" i really coudln't think of a name for him so if u have any surgestions for his name, please give them. Also the layout was done on word, and its changed when i pasted it into here.

SCEENE 1 – NEW BEGINNING
INT. DARK ROOM
A YOUNG MAN comes to in a dark room, lying face-up on a pile of boxes and old newspapers. Dust and darkness linger in the air filling the YOUNG MAN’s nostrils and making his hair stand on end.
YOUNG MAN (POV)
(The young man stands up and slowly looks around the room)
The YOUNG MAN is about 6ft tall with mid-long jet-black hair. He is wearing a white suit spotless, despite the dust and dirt in the room. On his belt is a white Katana, with an ivory handle with a black and white snake motif winding down the sheaf. And around his shoulders is a white cloak the goes down to his feet. His clothes give a certain aura of calmness and serenity around him. Slowly the YOUNG MAN steps up to the door, his steps graceful but yet strong on the old dusty floor. With one swift movement the YOUNG MAN opens the door, light flooding into the dark room. Taken back by the change in light levels the YOUG MAN shielding his eyes with one hand, the light nearly blinding him. Once his eyes had adapted to the light levels he walked out.
EXT. TENNIS COURTS – DAY TIME
Seeing the outside world for the first time in his memory, he peered around curiously and sees someone playing tennis. The YOUNG man walks closer to the tennis court and watches for a few seconds. As he does this two tennis players walk past holding their tennis rackets. The YOUNG MAN looks curiously at them and notices the word “Wilsonâ€

[andyg]

Having read some really really bad amature and professional (I use the term reading loosly) I have to say this is pretty dam good. Its not entirly original but what is now.

8/10

[chrisgreen]

Thanks, ne more feedback will be cool.

[Chris_film]

wow. that was awesome. although i am a little confused by it, it had enough to make me want to know more about the characters. are you going to turn this into a film? and if so...write a sequel!

[chrisgreen]

You know, when i wrote this script i wanted to achieve to two things. I wanted to make it easy to film with real locations and cheap/ easy to access props, but i also wanted the exact reaction you just gave me, i kno ur confused, but its in a good way and u wanna see what happens. whether this gets turned into a film or i not, i dont really know, i would hope it does, but it all depends. As for more about the characters, i am not saying anything about that just in case i do write a sequel, heh heh. Thanks