Hey everyone,
I just put my first movie onto the internet.
It is at http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid ... +-american
So... Please tell me what u think of it, but be nice seeing as this is my first online critic.
Thanks.
Fight scene
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RE: Fight scene
Muddled. I like the camerawork but other things may need serious work. For instance, it was quite hard to tell what was going on in some places because the camera was too close to the subject, and also the actress had a big smile on her face the whole time she was getting her a** kicked! Other than that, it's passable - just those little things that don't work!
RE: Fight scene
Choreo was actually nice... looked like you jacked it straight out of the transporter though. In terms of ways you can improve it now... I suggest speeding up the clips so it actually looks like your hitting her. I would also suggest cutting it so there is no "lag" time, what I mean is, there shouldn't be any slight pauses anywhere in your fight scene; cut the footage more so that the fight will look more smooth, not as if you waited every so often to beat her up. Also the muzzle flash should also not linger on the screen as long as you have it. Maybe add sound effects and a better soundtrack.
If you were to film it again, I'd suggest finding a better female actor (I'm assuming shes your sister). Cause like the above poster said... shes a little to happy for someone getting beat up. Other than that your on your way to becomming a respectable home video junkie.
If you were to film it again, I'd suggest finding a better female actor (I'm assuming shes your sister). Cause like the above poster said... shes a little to happy for someone getting beat up. Other than that your on your way to becomming a respectable home video junkie.
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UFProductions
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RE: Fight scene
Perfect description, faster faster, faster, and more cuts. Double the amount of footage, tighten the stuff up and you've got a nice piece of work on your hands.I would also suggest cutting it so there is no "lag" time, what I mean is, there shouldn't be any slight pauses anywhere in your fight scene; cut the footage more so that the fight will look more smooth, not as if you waited every so often to beat her up.
Losing consciousness,
in the arms of an angel,
I find only peace.
in the arms of an angel,
I find only peace.
I definitely agree. Fight scenes should be very intense and thrilling. You don't want your audience falling asleep during that, it should have the opposite effect. This fight scene was also a little short, but there's plenty of room to improve upon that. Acting needed to be more aggressive. You (I'm assuming you were the boy) performed better than the girl. As the others said, who smiles before they get beat up? Especially after they just lost their weapon? haha. Like I said, lots of room to improve upon, not necessarily bad things, but things to keep in mind next time.
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My thoughts:
- The way you cut it, it looks like he swings the whip twice (don't know if that was the way you wanted it to look?)
- When she gets the whip around her arm, she just stands still and he no reaction.
- She holds the gun in her left hand, but it is dropped out of a right hand. And the gun is to close to close to the floor when it's dropped.
- The pic of the gun was static.
- After making her drop the gun, you suddenly stand in the middle of the room. We don't see her pushing you away or anything.
- As you kick there is this ultra shot little clip which just makes it look like it lagging. When you cut you should change the angle a little or it'll look wierd.
- She has no reaction to the kick (and it could do with a sound effect)
- Suddenly she's down on her knees, we should see her fall after being kicked.
- When looking at the car you walk into fram from the right. You were not standing there before.
- Punch to your leg looks really tame.
- When she tries to stand up you changed you possion again. According to the previous shot you sould be standing right where she is.
- In the first cut where you break her neck you have your left hand holding the back of her head. In the next shot, you left arm is not holding her head (even the pros made this mistake, but I'll just include it anyway)
- In that shot where he picks up his whip, we really sould see her lying dead by the car, because that's where he grabbed her.
- You might want to show him picking up the whip in a close up, because it was a bit hard to see what he was doing.
By pointing out mistakes I don't mean to dis your work. We all make mistakes, I know I do! I just hope you can use it in your future work. What I thing you should mainly think about are continuity errors. You can't have someone standing one place, only to have him standing another place in the next shot.
- The way you cut it, it looks like he swings the whip twice (don't know if that was the way you wanted it to look?)
- When she gets the whip around her arm, she just stands still and he no reaction.
- She holds the gun in her left hand, but it is dropped out of a right hand. And the gun is to close to close to the floor when it's dropped.
- The pic of the gun was static.
- After making her drop the gun, you suddenly stand in the middle of the room. We don't see her pushing you away or anything.
- As you kick there is this ultra shot little clip which just makes it look like it lagging. When you cut you should change the angle a little or it'll look wierd.
- She has no reaction to the kick (and it could do with a sound effect)
- Suddenly she's down on her knees, we should see her fall after being kicked.
- When looking at the car you walk into fram from the right. You were not standing there before.
- Punch to your leg looks really tame.
- When she tries to stand up you changed you possion again. According to the previous shot you sould be standing right where she is.
- In the first cut where you break her neck you have your left hand holding the back of her head. In the next shot, you left arm is not holding her head (even the pros made this mistake, but I'll just include it anyway)
- In that shot where he picks up his whip, we really sould see her lying dead by the car, because that's where he grabbed her.
- You might want to show him picking up the whip in a close up, because it was a bit hard to see what he was doing.
By pointing out mistakes I don't mean to dis your work. We all make mistakes, I know I do! I just hope you can use it in your future work. What I thing you should mainly think about are continuity errors. You can't have someone standing one place, only to have him standing another place in the next shot.
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Fight scene
Thank heaps for that, i didnt notice some of that stuff, it seems like you watched it like 70 times. WOW.
Yes, i was the male, my friend was the female, i know, she is a pretty bad actress, but she only lives across the road.
I wanted to make a fight scene, and i was at her house, so we went to my house made it, then she went home, and it looked fairly bad so i had to make it on the day after that. The jacket she was originally wearing had got thrown up on, when she was baby sitting. So, the clothing changes a little if you notice it.
The fight scene was just really made up on the spot, and i thought it looked impressive.
I was desperate to do a spinning hook kick in at leasted one of my movies, and thats what the hole thing was done for, the one kick.
Yes overall the movie probably took about 10 minutes to film and about 30 minutes to edit.
Thanks alot, again.
Yes, i was the male, my friend was the female, i know, she is a pretty bad actress, but she only lives across the road.
I wanted to make a fight scene, and i was at her house, so we went to my house made it, then she went home, and it looked fairly bad so i had to make it on the day after that. The jacket she was originally wearing had got thrown up on, when she was baby sitting. So, the clothing changes a little if you notice it.
The fight scene was just really made up on the spot, and i thought it looked impressive.
I was desperate to do a spinning hook kick in at leasted one of my movies, and thats what the hole thing was done for, the one kick.
Yes overall the movie probably took about 10 minutes to film and about 30 minutes to edit.
Thanks alot, again.