Rheborn's Undergrond Script (draft)

[Truggy]

Rheborns Underground : The Final Skate

By: Nick Monroe

Written by: Mike berzon and Nick Monroe

<Fades into rheborn miserable failing at skateboarding>

Truggy and Bear the bounty hunters are out to get Rheborn, because Rheborn owes them 22,000$ in tax's for his rental property. The Landlord "Poxu" has send us on a quest to find and kill Rheborn.

<Switches scenes to Rheborn again>

Truggy and bear are talking...

Truggy tells bear "We failed the first dozen times, lets not screw this one up again...

Bear Replies " I know, if i would just get games off my mind maybe i could concentrate a little more on what we do.

At this point Truggy and bear are in the bushes conspiring about how to take rheborn down.

Rheborn hears the bushes rattling. He turns walks away

Bear says to truggy "Damnit! Not again we lost our opportunity"

<Motion blurs, or whatever into rheborn's driveway>

Rheborn falls, gets up and shouts "God damnit"...badly bruised from his falls he gets up and continues to try and learn how to ride a skateboard.

<Dramatic Music>

Rheborn Falls down on the ground, but finally says "I'm going to win, god damnit god, if you win i will go to church 2 times a month"

<Camera turns to truggy calling bear back at the office>

Truggy says to bear over the phone " Dude, i've been tailing rheborn all day, he just made an oath with god, Maybe we should give him a chance and see how good he does at this "skate battle" "

Bear replies "Ok, let me know when hes read"

Truggy replies to bear "I'm done tailing him for today, in 2 weeks this skate battle takes place, lets give him until then"

<Camera Fades to 2 weeks later, the Day of the event>

Truggy & Bear approach rheborn

Truggy speaks "Dont be afraid, were not here to hurt you yet"

Rheborn replies back to truggy "Why have you guys been trying to kill me or whatever it is you want to do to me"

Bear speaks up "We want to kill you for the money you owe us, the 22,000$"

Rheborn replies "Well if i win this skate battle consider the money yours, plus 3,000$ for your personal troubles.

Truggy says to rheborn "And if you dont win???"

Rheborn replies "Well then its fair game, but let me tell you, you wont catch me"

Truggy says "We will see about that"

<Fades to Rheborn skateing around verses another person (2nd_Recon)>

End First Part

[foxwood]

Well that was short and....bad, I guess the consept is ok, but the exicution is poor. First its more of a stragley formated novil not a script that made it hard, second not very discriptive. Third I'm not sure if this is supoed to be funny or what, and why would a land lord who is owed money kill the person who owes him money, a dead guy can't pay his bills. also dollor signs come at the front of a value, $20000 not 20000$, that just bugged me. All and all give it some meat some I don't know transition the flow didn't work eather.

[Truggy]

wow. if u notice the $ thing infront of the money thing wow. Just astounded at how someone would notice that. Anyway whatever, were gonna try and make it good. instead of half-assed type s***. Lol