Here is the basic plot for my new film, BINGO. It is, obviously, a comedy.
In the year 2007 New Labour has created a law banning all physical-contact sports. Because of this, bingo is now England's national sport.
Garth McGrawth is 15 years old, and is just going back to school after a three year battle with the farties, a rare illness caused by excess methane in the blood. On his return to school he is mistaken for a Special Needs pupil who is taking part in a bi-termly bingo tournament. He has never played bingo before, yet suddenly finds himself playing again Randal Watson, school champion. Though he looses, people are taken aback by his natural skill and tell him he should play in the grand, end-of-the-year championship. It is then that he is confronted by Randal, who tells him that he is the champion in the school and that he intends to remain just that. As Randal leaves another boy grabs Garth. His name is Toodles Ingram, who gives him a card reading TOODLES INGRAM: BINGO TRAINING EXTRODINARY. Garth points out the spelling mistake and Toodles stamps on his foot and wanders off.
After a nightmare in which Randal whups Garth's a** (literally), Garth calls Toodles and training begins. After a lot of training, Garth enters the heats. As he walks into the bingo hall everyone turns and laughs at him. All over the walls are posters reading "GARTH McGRAWTH HAS THE FARTIES!!". The humiliation trigers a relapse in the condition and he begins to fart, running for it.
After getting very depressed the ghost of his grand father (a champion bingo player himself) comes to haunt him, telling him he can't give up. He goes back to school just in time for the bingo finals. After beating one of the finalists to death with a piece of cheese he takes his clothes and plays the final, drawing with Randal. Then the two of them enter SUDDEN-DEATH BINGO, where the ball guy throws 20 bingo balls at the player and the player has to catch the winning ball. Randal cheats and wins, but suddenly a huge piece of metal from the broken hall roof falls on him, crushing him to death. Garth wins by default. Everybody cheers. The End.
So wadda ya think!
BINGO
Moderator: Moderator Team
RE: BINGO
I've only read the first sentance and I love it .... ok I'll read the rest now but as a film pitch the first sentance sells it
Quality! i love the premise that labour have banned all contact sports. its funny cos you could actually believe them doing it! and with them hoping to open all these super casinos, gambling would be all that anyone could do!
its like rocky for school nerds! hyper critical: not sure about the very end. how about:
the balls go up in the air and land everywhere. theres a mad frenzy as they try to find the right ball. suddenly they both see the winning ball about 10 yards away. slo mo dash for the ball... randy is much closer and is about to win when garth lets rip with an almighty fart causing randy to feint. garth picks up the ball and is lifted upon the shoulders of his classmates- his deformity being the very thing that wins him the title and respect of those who ridiculed him... pure poetry!
its like rocky for school nerds! hyper critical: not sure about the very end. how about:
the balls go up in the air and land everywhere. theres a mad frenzy as they try to find the right ball. suddenly they both see the winning ball about 10 yards away. slo mo dash for the ball... randy is much closer and is about to win when garth lets rip with an almighty fart causing randy to feint. garth picks up the ball and is lifted upon the shoulders of his classmates- his deformity being the very thing that wins him the title and respect of those who ridiculed him... pure poetry!
'Pain is temporary, film is forever'
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